Feeling ok

I know everyone is concerned and asking how I am, but I have to tell you I'm feeling pretty good the last couple of days.  I actually feel normal.  I've been able to work out and eat normally and haven't been too tired.  Mind you I have been in bed by 9pm almost every night.  It's been a busier week with appointments and tests but I want to thank everyone for all the emails and cards.  All the support we have gotten is just incredible.  We are so lucky to have all of you in our lives!

I had some baseline tests done this week.  A bone scan and an abdominal ultrasound.  I have to say I'm getting pretty good at reading the techs now when they notice something that isn't normal.  My abdominal ultrasound was the only hiccup.  The technician said he noticed a polyp on my gall bladder.  One link I read suggested 95% of the time it is not cancer but in my case it could be the 5%.  Anyway I'm sure I'll here about that at my next appointment.  Another surgery wouldn't surprise me at this point.  The bone scan was a two part test.  I got a injection in my arm and was sent home for 2 hours.  Once I came back I was placed under this giant scanner which started at my head and moved slowly all the way down to my toes.  I have to say the easiest test so far, just needed to lie there for 20 minutes.  The girl that did my bone scan said she did not see any "hot spots" on my scan.  She said that it looked good.  So that was a positive to end my day.
Now I wait for the hair to fall out.  I'm probably 4 to 6 days away for that.  I'm scared but anxious for it happen all at the same time.  I obviously don't want to lose my hair but I know that as soon as it does I will know that the chemo is working and the bad cells are being destroyed.  That will be a good feeling!  Finally something will be happening to get rid of the cancer.
Well I'm off to pick up Sam from daycare and go out to dinner with my family.  Have a great weekend everyone!
Love Ang




 

Appointment with Radiation Oncologist

Yesterday was my first appointment with my radiation oncologist. I wasn't expecting it to difficult since I had done some reading already on radiation and thought I knew what to expect, boy was I wrong. I was so upset by the time the appointment was over, that it felt like the first day when I got diagnosed. I was so happy John was with me because it was a lot more difficult than I was anticipating. I think most of the reason why I was so upset was that my doctor is lacking in bedside manner for the most part. He was very clinical and blunt and didn't give me a lot of hope. Maybe that's what I needed to hear to snap myself back into reality I don't know. So as long as the plan stays on track I have my 8 chemo cycles, my surgery (which he was very blunt with me will likely be a mastectomy and most if not all of my lymph nodes under my arm) then I heal for 4 to 6 weeks and then I start 5 weeks of radiation which I will go for 5 days a week. He explained all the risks, and told us the areas he would be concentrating on radiating. I asked a couple of questions. One was about how soon I could get reconstruction done after radiation. He told me reconstruction was probably not likely. Of course I could and should seek out another opinion but he didn't think it was going to possible. That blew me away. I wasn't ready for that at all. I have been preparing myself for weeks for the mastectomy and pretty much have come to peace with it, but no options after, I wasn't ready for that. Obviously I'll be seeking out other opinions when the time comes and we know more after the surgery. He explained that there would likely not be much tissue left and the radiation would tighten up what is left. The other question I asked was if we knew right now that radiation has to be done. He told me I could always say no to any treatment if I didn't want it. Which wasn't what I was getting at. I just wanted to know how he knew without the surgery being done that radiation was a for gone conclusion. He is an experienced radiation oncologist but he's definitely not my favorite doctor so far.
So it's been a teary couple of days..and just thinking about the HER2 is making me a bit crazy. I've started preparing myself for that to come back positive as well. I think it will explain why my tumor is so big so fast.

Oh I cut my hair short this week too. Not as traumatic as I thought it would be. Taking control of it made me feel better. Even though I don't love having short hair it will be gone in a week or so anyway so no sense in getting upset about it. I brought Sam, Matt and John with me just so they wouldn't be surprised when they saw me. Well it was mostly for Samantha. Turns out it didn't bother her. Hopefully when I lose all my hair it will be the same.

First Day of Chemo

Well I made it through.  I'm home now on the couch while I watch my Mother cook dinner for my family which is killing me.  I think that will be one of the most difficult things for me, not being able to do everything all the time.  So far so good.  No nausea yet.  I think tonight will be the big test.  I'm on 3 anti nausea medication to prevent it.  One I took this morning, and two I got through the IV when I went for chemo.  They also sent me home with a bag of drugs for the next few days.  I've never had to take so many drugs in my whole life.  We went in for 2:00pm and we finished around 4:20pm.  It was bit longer today since it was my first time.  Usually it will be about 1 1/2 hour.  The hardest part really was getting the IV line inserted, other than that it didn't hurt.  I had a really great nurse named Judy who spent a lot of time with me explaining all the drugs and their side effects.  She was explaining to me that a PICC line might be better for me to consider since the chemo is very hard on my veins when they do it by IV.  I'll have to talk to my oncologist on Sept 9th about it but I think I'm going to wait until we get the results of the HER2 just in case.  
Earlier this week John and I went to "chemo class" and learned more in depth about the process and side effects.  I'm sure John and I were the youngest people there.  It was useful and we got a quick tour of the big room where everyone goes for treatment.  It was a bit overwhelming seeing all the people in there.  One interesting thing they have in the room is the big bell.  When someone finishes their last chemo treatment they are supposed to ring the bell and everyone applauds.
I also went to look at wigs on Tuesday.  I found one that I liked and put my deposit down.  When my hair starts to fall out in a couple of weeks I'll phone Caralyn's up and they will cut off the rest of my hair and fit my wig and style it.  So that's pretty much it for today.  It's 8:30pm now and I'm still ok so keep your fingers crossed for me that I make it through the night!
Take care everyone!

First Visit to the Cancer Centre

Friday was a relatively good day as things can go at this point. I met with my medical oncologist Dr. Young at the Cancer Centre. He seems to be a very knowledgeable doctor and a very gentle man. I was very afraid that they were going to delay my treatments since they wouldn’t have the results of the extra tests the surgeon ordered on my biopsy since I didn’t have surgery. Dr. Young said though that we could go ahead with our plan without those results now since the first part of the chemo would be the same no matter what the results are. So the short of it is that my chemo will begin this coming week. The plan will be 8 chemo treatments every 3 weeks, surgery 4 to 6 weeks after the end of chemo and probably radiation after the surgery and possibly hormone treatment.

My first 4 treatments will be with drugs called Adriamycin & Cyclophosphamide. The most common side effects of those are nausea, hair loss and low white blood cell counts. The next 4 treatments are with a drug called Taxotere. The side effects for that are less that the first drugs. There should be little to no nausea with that one but there is a low risk of heart damage developing. Dr. Young seemed confident that it would be a very low risk for me since I’m a younger woman with no previous health issues. So this is the current plan. It could change based on the results of the additional tests they are running on my biopsy samples. If it happens that I am HER-2 positive my chemo treatments could extent out to be a whole year. I really really hope that doesn’t happen. That would be definitely hard to take.

One piece of good news I got on Friday ( I think anyway) is that I won’t have to get a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line. It’s essentially an IV line they leave in cancer patients instead of inserting the lV every time you go for chemo. I think it would be a pain since it has to be kept dry at all times and cleaned. Since it’s inserted into one of your main veins there is a risk of infection all the time. Dr. Young explained I shouldn’t need that since I have pretty good veins in my arms and because I didn’t have surgery first I have 2 arms to work with for the chemo. He said if I changed my mind after the first couple of treatments and didn’t want to get picked every time I could get it inserted, but right now I’m glad I don’t have to get it in. I think having a 2 year old around potentially grabbing at it might be hard. I don’t have to worry about it getting wet when I bath or shower too. One less thing to worry about.

This week coming up will be a busy one. I have a “chemo class” to attend, some baseline tests to do, look for a wig and get chemo. I also plan to cut my hair very short in the next week in preparation for the hair loss and so my kids can get used to me with short hair for a couple of weeks before it’s gone. I think it will be less traumatic for them that way. Stay tuned for that picture. I'm definitely relieved that my treatments are starting this week but also scared. The unknown of how my body is going to react is hard but I think once I get through the first treatment I'll feel better about it.

As always thank you to everyone for their support and well wishes.

Surgery Cancelled

Monday was a disappointing day to say least. I was expecting to meet with my surgeon to review my MRI results and go over his recommendation for the surgery I was scheduled to have on Friday August 14th. I thought we would only be discussing whether it was going to be a lumpectomy or mastectomy then it would be out. As it turns out from the MRI the cancer around my lymph nodes is quite larger than we originally thought and Dr. Watters believes the right course of treatment now is to have chemo first to shrink the tumors and then do the surgery. Both John and I were deflated when we left the office. I had done all my emotional prep for the surgery and it got totally flipped around.
Chemo is definitely a totally different beast which I wasn't prepared to deal with at least not for another 4 to 6 weeks. For me the thought of losing my hair is frightening.
I am scheduled now to see a medical oncologist this Friday August 14th at the Cancer Center. We are hoping we will get some answers then about the treatment.
On a positive note though ( well I'm taking it as positive ) the MRI didn't pick up any lesions or signs of cancer cells in my right breast, lungs or heart. There are many more tests to run to confirm it hasn't spread but it's a good start. I'm hoping to start chemo quickly but I know there are more baseline tests to run and waiting for those appointments may delay it. I'm a big fan of our healthcare system but the waiting we have to do sometimes is torture.

Diagnosis

As many of you already know July 20th was the day I officially was diagnosed with breast cancer. I have to say it was probably the worst day of my life. It was extremely difficult at first, lots of tears and anger but with the support of my family and friends I have been able to now start thinking about the fight I have ahead of me. Don't get me wrong from time to time my mind does wander to the worst case scenarios but everyday it gets a bit easier. I have many fears about surgery, chemo and possibly radiation. I am slowly educating myself to try and alleviate those fears.
I don't know everything about my cancer yet. From the biopsy results the type was determined as invasive ductal carcinoma, which is the most common type of invasive breast cancer. Invasive means that it has the ability to grow and invade neighboring tissue in the body. The biopsy also revealed that my lymph nodes are positive for cancer as well.
I know it's going to be hard road but I am fine. I don't physically feel any different than I have in the last year, so it's weird to talk about myself as a sick person.
I have many scheduled tests and appointments coming up in the next couple of weeks so I'll keep everyone updated as much as possible.